User:Tchernobog/archive/boodint/cultist

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Cultist
The Bloody Interviews


Welcome, once again to the Bloody Interviews...

This week, we have one of the more injury prone "bad guys" from Blood, we have been told not to give you his name, but only to use his title, Cultist. So, Cultist, what sort of work do you do at Tchernobog towers?'

Manamax and spear books...

I see, what sort of things does that involve then.

I am not at ease with your line of questioning. I don't like to talk about work, lets stick to my personal problems shall we...? Manamax and spear books...

Right, if that's what you want. First question, have you any children?

Yes, a had a son, but he didn't understand me properly, my religion that is, and how we perceive sarcasm, so when he showed me a funny bumper sticker that said "Support Cannabilism - EAT ME" I took it literally... Manamax and spear books...

That's a sad tale, and I'm sure our readers can sympathise, we all eat our offspring from time to time I'm certain of it.

Thank you, that's very reassuring. Manamax and spear books...

Here's a more civil question, why do you keep saying "Manamax and spear books..." ?

As part of my role as a Tchernobogian fighter, I have to say stupid lines to people who try to kill my master, sadly I am limited to poor intelligence and intellect enough to end every sentence in "Manamax and spear books..."...it's in the contract. Manamax and spear books...

Right, well, that's nice isn't it. Do you find it causes problems when talking with friends?

Actually, it's rather positive, I find that if I say those words, people know I'm finished speaking. It's quite useful! Manamax and spear books...

I'm beginning to agree Cultist. I know you asked me not to, but what is the name of your cult?

Damn, oh well, one question about work can't hurt. We are called, um, Manamax and spear books... :]

That's very poor Cultist, a crap joke... How about a wife, Cultist, to have a son surely you need one of them...

Actually no, I am a double transexual. I had the change from man to woman, used some of my pre-frozen seed and fertilized myself. After giving birth, I changed myself back. Manamax and spear books...

[disgusted] Eurgh!! Christ, freak! Freak! Shoot the freak!!!

[Suddenly, in a fit of drunken rage and disgust, Mugwum chainsawed off Cultist's head and for some bizarre reason, felt emotionally compelled to run toward it and kick it around. What surprised him was that he didn't actually have to kick it for it to go flying such were the physics of his surroundings]

Anyway readers, next week I will tackle something bigger, the almighty Cerberus will be here ladies and gentlemen!

- mugwum