User:Tchernobog/archive/boodint/hand

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Hell Hand
The Bloody Interviews

This week/month/insert suitable time gap, I am interviewing the Hand from Blood1! Hello Mr. Hand.

The Hand sort of moves a bit, but doesn't reply, Mugwum looks confused (that's "confused", not "disturbed").

Okay... so Mr. Hand, what's up?

The Hand once again sort of gestures, but Mugwum doesn't understand.

Speak up...!

The Hand jumps in the air and raises 3 fingers. Mugwum suddenly catches on.

3 words...

The Hand looks pleased (fuck knows how...) and jumps up holding up 1 finger.

First word...

The Hand jumps up and points inwardly toward the center of its palm.

"I"?

The Hand nods, well, sort of, and jumps up holding 2 fingers up.

Second word...

The Hand does some weird action, Mugwum guesses what the word will be anyway.

"Am"?

The Hand nods, I think, and jumps up with 3 fingers raised.

Third word...

The Hand jumps around happily and frolocks over Mugwum's head.

"Queer"?

The Hand slaps Mugwum.

"A tosser"?

The Hand shakes it's head (how the fuck else do I express it?) and jumps around again.

"Happy"?

The Hand looks happy, and nods itself.

What a waste of time! All that effort for three fucking words!

The Hand gives Mugwum the middle finger. Mugwum cuts it off with a knife and gives it back...

Happy now?

The Hand goes red, although that was more to do with the blood streaming from its wound.

This is boring as hell little hand, I think I'll quit now before I hurt you...

The Hand falls over, having bled to death.

Wha...?

Mugwum vows never to interview another creature which can't talk again. You'd of thought he would of learnt from his experience with the Mime...

- mugwum